ABOUT ME

What can I say about myself. Not like anyone is really gonna read this. Well, I would like to think of myself as a good guy although I can lose my temper quite easily, so watch out a bit. Nothing personal hehe. I love soccer, that's all I can think about right now. I LOVE SOCCER! What more can I say? Haha!

HISTORY

April 2006
May 2006
July 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
July 2007

LINKS

Okay, I have decided that my blog needs a bit more color now. From now on, all of my entries will be written in color instead of just black or white.


Putting that aside, I am better already, no more headache and no more fever. However, still kinda bored, no purpose. Wanted to go out and do something. Problem is, the van is getting registered again. The car gets registered once a year and yet it seems to happen when I need it. And I do not really need it that often. What are the odds huh?


Went to David's party last Thursday night. Roughly 2/3 of us former 3rd year 4th years were there so it was pretty. David got us all doing karaoke. Eating, singing, maybe a bit of dancing. XD Just some nice fun. Hehe.


Today is a Saturday and I have nothing planned. Maybe I can go out to the mall and buy some football cleats. Soccer training with Ateneo starts second week of April and my current cleats are a mess.


I need something to do......GRABE!!




posted @ Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Not feeling well. Had a headache and fever for most of the day. Wasn't even able to go out to the mall with some of the guys cause of it.


Stayed at home in bed resting. How productive can a person get right?


Anyways...are you a people pleaser? I am, and sometimes, it bites. All I want to do is to be helpful to other people. To make them happy. Making other happy is the most effective way of making myself happy.


But then, there are some people, that no matter how much you try to help them, nothing works. You can not help them and seeing them in trouble pains you so. It hurts not being able to do anything for people you care about. It really does. If I did not care, I wouldn't feel pain. I guess I am really not like that.


All my life, I have worked to become a better person. I have worked to make people proud of me. That's one of my main missions in life. Today, for some reason, I feel I have let them down. I do not know how or why, I just feel it. And how bad it feels. Perhaps, just perhaps, this headache is affecting me more then I thought and these feelings will go away with the headache and fever. Hopefully.


Not doing anything is horrible. You end up thinking of things you would rather not think of. You start visiting memories you would have never wanted to visit again. Its scary. Really scary.


I have always been a kinda emotional guy and every now and then I need a hug. Now's a time for a hug. I feel sort of empty inside, if that makes any sense. During summer, my life does not seem to have a real purpose. During school, I have projects, assignment, reports and the likes but now, I have nothing. I have no purpose and it has hallowed me out inside. Every human being needs a purpose in life, no just during the school days or the vacations. They need a purpose every single day of their lives. I know God has big plans for me, He has put me through so much as a person already that He must have something in mind. I just hope I can see it soon.


I'm still not feeling good so I'll stop this now. Perhaps I'll post something more later or tomorrow. XD





posted @ Tuesday, March 27, 2007

It has been almost 2 whole days and yet I still miss the guys so much. Things will be easier in awhile, that I am sure of.


Went to school today and picked up my report card. Hung out with Teacher Dawn, Anton and Ana for lunch after that. Great fun just being with them, even if just for awhile.


Going to start planning an outing with the guys, either Tagaytay, Baguio or Alabang. Just as long as we can go hang out. Should be great fun if I can piece together the pieces. Shouldn't be too hard. As soon as Lola gets back from Cagayan, so she can cook us all the food. XD I LOVE MY LOLA!


My dog is always so sick. Its so sad. I love him so much and I hate it that he is unhealthy. He has had such a messed up life. He is so accident prone. He is getting better and now that my ankle is all better, I'll be able to take better care of him. My mom loved that dog even thought she was kinda allergic to him, she always fought past it to walk him every now and then. Pets really are great. They love you no matter what. They love you past all the things you do. Its an amazing feeling. Dogs in particular. I have always had a dog. My whole life. Dogs are always there for you. XD I love my two dogs to pieces.


This song has really gotten my attention. Its an OPM band and the song really applies to alot of what my friends have been going to.






posted @ Monday, March 26, 2007

Graduated last night. Very emotional, very sentimental. I do not believe I will ever get as many hugs as I did last night. But I will get too that later.


Now how many people get to graduated with a Star Wars theme song huh? After all the 6th grade grads marched down the isle, we were like, 'oh no' here comes us. Us marching with the same old corny ethnic beat that we have been fed for the past several years. All 6th grades walked? Check, our turn, YES. Then suddenly. Star Wars comes blasting and the words come out over the stereo 'our high school grads.' We marched down that isle with that Star Wars song blasting.


That was pretty unique and cool. After we all received our diploma we sat back down. Then there was a special award, I thought that they had tricked us and brought back the leadership award, but no. They had a special recognition of my student council and my contribution to it. I waled onto stage and shook T.Emma's hand as T.Ana talked about all I had done and meant to the school. Before this all started, before the whole grad even began, I promised myself I would not cry. No matter what, now matter how much I missed my parents or how much I knew I would miss my friends. I would not cry. But as T.Ana was talking, I did cry. Just a few tears, but the first of many for tonight. My mom and dad would have been so proud of me and I really wished for them to have been there. I got a couple of hugs from T.Emma and C.Wacky then and there.


The rest of the presentation went well, yes the sound system messed up every now and then but it didn't make the whole event less memorable. Every enjoyed our different videos that us 4th years had made about ourselves. Alot of laughing and smiling. The sang our goodbye 'thanks' song and it sounded nice.


I must give recognition to someone now. Ana Cabungcal worked almost all by herself on a tribute to the 4th years. I did not work on stage because of technical difficulties. THAT DOES NOT MAKE HER WORK ANY LESS AMAZING. Ana worked her butt off and she did a hell of a job. Enrique was right, this video was for us 4th years and maybe it was better that we watched together with the 3rd years, just us guys.


So much hugging, so much crying. I can not even list who I hugged, it was basically anyone who came close enough to me. I would be hugging 4to5 people at a time. Some people who I did even think cared that much came and hugged me crying as well. Really emotional.


I love all this guys so much. They are not even friends for me anymore, they are family. This Hedcen experience has been hella worth it and I am sorry to see it end but the future holds so much for all of us and we will make sure that it is a future where we are all still friends together.





posted @ Sunday, March 25, 2007

The end is near. The end of high school I mean. Was eating my snack with Anton in the classroom earlier when we realized, this is our last day of high school. This is the last time we will be eating snacks here together in this classroom. After three years, this is the end.

Three years, looking back it seems so short, like time sped up. Perhaps we were not paying enough attention. Three years, grabe. How things are about to change, scary thought to me, me who rejects change with all his heart.

Am I ready for change? Yes, do I invite it? Not really.

Do you?


posted @ Friday, March 23, 2007

At some point in or life we ask the question 'why?' This can be followed up by the other question 'well why not?' People are always asking questions and demeaning answers in return. But life isn't always about answers is it? You will not always get what you need or get what you want. You may never get a satisfying answer, but that is life.


But what if we don't need an answer. Sometimes we have just gotta trust that things do happen for a reason and that sometimes it really is better to have that reason hidden from us. Don't we all just need a bit of faith? I am not merely talking about faith in God. We all need this. I am also referring to having faith in people. Faith that someway, somehow what they are doing will make sense and will be good for everyone before the end.


We all need faith. Do you have it?



posted @ Sunday, March 18, 2007

Once again I have decided to restart writing this blog. It is just something I feel up to doing again. Summer is so close meaning a lot of free time. Guess I might as well put what I do and think somewhere instead of letting them fly off to nowhere.


High school has been quite simply, the best. A lot of things have happened since my last post.


J.S. Prom - Haha, yes yes. Our little school had its first J.S. prom. It actually did not suck, although some people thought it really would. Well, I have never been a party hardy kind of guy so I have absolutely nothing to compare it to. I took Sinag, a long time friend from my swim team days. No romantic attraction anywhere although many people assumed there was. You get to know me and you will see that my principles on such matters are rock solid and there are no exemptions. I will not bore anyone with details but it was interesting. Seeing everyone all dressed up, seeing people trying to be so proper. Everyone was so, not like themselves. I thought it was hilarious. Plus, all the guys look dashing and the girls gorgeous. Great fun really.


Update - I am not again in a cast and crutches. Again I say? Yes, again. After breaking my right foot a few months ago. And after only playing soccer again for a month or so I have injured myself. In non the honorable manner at that. I slipped during P.E. and landed bad on my left ankle. I really did not think it was that bad and that it was just one of those things you could walk off. It wasn't. I know i shouldn't have but I played varsity. I have never been one to do the sensible thing ALL the time. Bad bad idea Nathan. I got through the varsity fine but ankle got all swollen. Bandaged it up for a week and I felt 100% already. Monday comes along and I'm ready to play soccer again. I am standing when my ankle starts burning and swelling. I have snapped a ligament just walking and it's bleeding internally. Cast for two weeks to protect it and to force me to be more careful. I now miss the last festival with the boys by one lousy day. Smart me huh? Haha!


As I write this, for some reason, the neighbors are having fireworks. Haha, it's kinda far from New Years to do that isn't it? Anyways, there is so much to be thankful for but then there is always something to be upset about. There always is but I do try to not let it affect me that much.


There are just a couple of things that have got me, well to put it frankly, ticked off.


Shall I enumerate them:
1) I busted my ankle for no good reason. Haha, there I go thinking I am indestructible. This once again proves how wrong I am huh?


2) There is one person who just loves pushing me to the edge, I would be doing nothing to this person and he/she just loves pushing my buttons in any ways possible. The person is a bad influence and a bully to those around him/her and this gets me upset as it affects not only me but those I care about.


3) There is a, couple you may say that have given me something to think about. They seem intent on acting like infatuated 5th graders which is something I have mixed emotions. Bad - this is immature. Good - at least you are being immature together (people always need the company? X_X)


Well, seems that I have people problem don't I? Well I actually wouldn't have so many of them if I didn't care about them. I mean, if i did not give a damn, who cares right? Guess it is kind of built into me isn't it. So believe it or not, there is more.


4) I know someone else who has had a rough life but instead of trying to fight past these problems, the person has given up and accepted what life has supposedly dumped upon him/her. Living is not accepting just what life gives you but on making the most of it. You had a bad experience, okay, we understand that, everyone has them. But do you really want to walk around sulking forever? Do you not want to enjoy yourself? Relax, let it go...LIVE XD


Thriller by Michael Jackson has just came up on my iTunes. Funny funny song really. Micheal Jackson was okay before he decided to go all weird on the world.


Oh my, I have one more I think...


5) There is another someone, someone who has one of the most negative attitudes in the world. I have been trying to help this person, to help this person through this phase but...it doesn't not seem to be effective. I want to be a help but my help is either rejected or challenged. I have given up trying to be a help although the person has told me they appreciate it. Now you wonder why I want to help in the first place? Cause, it makes me feel good. I am happiest helping people, happiest giving joy to people. That is my nature, it always has. It was the nature of my parents and the nature they brought me up in.


Nothing else comes to mind at the moment but since I do have this blog up and running again I guess I can write another entry about it.


I have listed those things that I am...distressed about but what about those things I am thankful for?


Well, there is no way that a blog entry could contain my thanks. God knows I am, and that works for me.


Till next time it is then. ^_~

posted @ Friday, March 16, 2007