What can I say about myself. Not like anyone is really gonna read this. Well, I would like to think of myself as a good guy although I
can lose my temper quite easily, so watch out a bit. Nothing personal hehe. I love soccer, that's all I can think about right now. I LOVE
SOCCER! What more can I say? Haha!
What kind of day is it when the highlight is of eating ice cream? Man, I cant seem to do anything worth doing. Bascily I sleep, eat, watch Tv and use the PC. The occasionaly book reading here and there but asides from that, I AM A COMPLETE 100% BUM!
My birthday is coming up, the 22nd. Earth Day. I dont know what Ill do for it. Most years I get very upset during special time like these, both holidays and birthdays alike. Why you might wonder, well, I quite simply miss my father. He died when I was only around 7 years old. I barely remember him anymore but what I do remember is enough. I drag myself onward with just a fragment of my father left within me. Questions always come to me during times like this. Is he proud of me? Would he even approve of what I have done? Im going to college soon and my father wont be there to see his eldest son graduate. What a pity, I would have loved to have him there.
My relationship with my dad was never perfect, no ones it but it was filled with love. I loved my dad, so so much but my love paled in comarison to how much he loved me in return.
I remember exactly how i learned that he had died. My father had cancer, Im not sure what kind. He had it for the longest time. Our family worked so hard to get enough money to get the best cancer sugeron in the country for my father. To heal him, to save him. But the surgeon was over confident, he was the best and he thought that he didnt need to prepare himself as much as he should have. He messed up and he couldnt fix it. My father bled to death in that hospital with my mom at his side.
The last time I saw my father alive, he was waving as he left in the car for the hospital for the sugery that would give us our wonderful father back again. I was home sick from school and I was still a little boy back then. I was still in my pajamas cause I was just home and I didnt see the need to change. Our family friend took me aside, and then told me, 'Nathan, your father has passed away.' Now understand here, I didnt understand what the term 'passed away' really meant. But I recalled a movie I had watched the previous night, it used the same phrase when a person had died. It dawned on me, my dad was dead. And there was nothing we could do about it....
Sorry, this is getting painful, maybe Illl finish this story another time....
