ABOUT ME

What can I say about myself. Not like anyone is really gonna read this. Well, I would like to think of myself as a good guy although I can lose my temper quite easily, so watch out a bit. Nothing personal hehe. I love soccer, that's all I can think about right now. I LOVE SOCCER! What more can I say? Haha!

HISTORY

April 2006
May 2006
July 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
July 2007

LINKS

This rain is killing me. It wont stop. Okay, not having school is cool but being able to play soccer is so much better. I would gladly go to school if I could play some soccer. We had a festival last Saturday, we did alright. After the game, and alot of thinking, I thought alot about how I could improve my soccer game. Man, I am itching to play soccer and this rain is just bumming me out now....


posted @ Monday, July 24, 2006

It has been a long time since I last updated my blog huh. Well, I have decided to start doing it again, doenst matter if someone reads it or not, I'm gonna start it again.

Have you ever felt like you have lost your 'drive' in life? That's what's going on in my life now. I dont feel 'driven,' if that makes any sense. I dont feel like I relaly need to do anything. My mom was always the one who motivated me to do my best and to do everything I could do to get something done. But now I cant find a way to concentrate. My mind drifts, I cant control it. My grades are 'okay' but the thing is, I have never been a guy with 'okay' grades. I have always been top, I have always been the best in what I do and what makes it better is that I really worked hard for it. But now, with my 'okay' grades, I realize that I also deserve this. I cant keep my mind focused on anything. 'Please Lord help me now!' I need to get better grades, just hearing someone else's name being called out for being top in a test makes me so upset. I get so dissapointed in myself. I can do better, I know it, and my mom knew it too. Thats why she always pushed me, and thats why I always excelled in what I did in life.

I have made a promise to myself, to push myself to the limit. I cannot let this continue. My mom must be dissapointed in me, that always comes to mind. I cant let her down. But, Im trying my best and Im still having a hard time. Everytime I start thinking, pictures of mom come to me. Not the good times, or even the bad, but the worst ones of her so frail in the hospital emergency room.

Can you even think of seeing the person you love the most, the one who has taken care of you through everything, the one whom you would die for, the one who was the pillar of strength that help you up....so sick, helpless, and there is nothing you can do. Can you even? Now do it twice. That has been my life. Imagine change homes, friends and schools. Leaving the people and thinks that make you feel most comfortable. Now imagine doing it half a dozen times. That has been my life. Can you even imagine?

'Dear God, help me Lord. Please, I beg of you...'

posted @ Saturday, July 22, 2006