ABOUT ME
What can I say about myself. Not like anyone is really gonna read this. Well, I would like to think of myself as a good guy although I can lose my temper quite easily, so watch out a bit. Nothing personal hehe. I love soccer, that's all I can think about right now. I LOVE SOCCER! What more can I say? Haha!

HISTORY

April 2006
May 2006
July 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
July 2007


LINKS
| |Jad
| |Jirah
| |Kevin
| |Ana
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!CREDITS
IMAGES: Beckhamzone
HOST: Photobucket
,Blogskins
BRUSHES: Moargh
BY: nobody(:
!&Tuesday, May 29, 2007
BECKHAM <3
Okay, I'm up earlier then I'm supposed to be. It's 6am in the morning here but I've been up way longer then that. Jetlagged so you can guess that I'm home already. Nothing noteworthy on the flight here except I saw Anton's father at the airport in the Japan. We took the same flight home. What are the chances right?


Looks like I may not get my last football game. They have changed the rules and are not allowing outsiders to play, so HEdCen can not play and if I want to I'll have to enrole for a lot of money only to get 2 training days and the tourney out of it. Waste of good money but I would have loved to play. I love the sport too much and I think I will try out for the Ateneo team, as a goalkeeper. The coach said I would have better chances of making the team this way. Maybe when I got older I could be moved to the field. Will try for this then.


I need to get out of the house. Haha. XD


posted @ Tuesday, May 29, 2007
!&Sunday, May 27, 2007
BECKHAM <3
In two short hours I have to leave this hotel that has been my 'home' for the last week of my vacation and take a plane ride half way around the world to where my home really is. The saying is true, there really is no place but home. Home, home is not a building with walls a roof and a floor. A home is much more then that. A home consists of the people you love and those who love you back and I miss mine.


I miss it so much that I am wiling to brave the act of flying. I extremely dislike flying but the only way from here to there is a flight.


I am sitting in front of my new laptop, a grad gift from my relatives on my father's side, sipping a glass of orange juice. The alarm on my phone has just rung telling me that it is already 830 in the morning and that I should be up getting ready. Well, I am up and I am more or less ready. Just a few more odds and ends that I need to tidy up.


How can I sum up my trip. A trip of a thousand words in one? Refreshing. Maybe that is the best way to say it.


That's all I have to say for now, my next update I'll be home. See you then. XD


posted @ Sunday, May 27, 2007
!&Thursday, May 24, 2007
BECKHAM <3
'No day but today'





Lyrics from the closing song of the broadway show 'Rent.' Saw this with my grandma and grandpa last saturday. These words they are so powerful at least that is how they strike me. The song goes on to say that 'Your life is yours to miss.' Life is here, in front of you. Life that was is behind you and the life you want to live is in front of you. You have to link whats here the now to there, what's in front of you.





That being said, what am i doing today? I am going to watch a soccer game but before that I am going to go to the Needle as they call it here in Seattle. Wonder place with a 360 degree view of the whole city. Quite exciting really. I am here on the computer obviously now but I am here in the hotel room on my brand new laptop. Hehe, yup very cool. Kick ass really.





My buddy Kevin has started college. Started ahead of us cause he is in La Salle unlike the rest of us. Kevin is going to make it big no matter what college he goes to. Kevin has got so much going for him, so much more then he may be aware of. No worries, he'll see it for himself in time. At least the very least he should know that I've got his back.





Believe it or not but after a week and a half I am extremely homesick. The weather must be doing it to me. Somedays it freezing, others its nice and warm. The cold weather makes me sleepy actually. Strange but funny. Haha. I have been tamed by the cold.





Its about lunchtime over here. Gonna catch some McDonald's. See yah. XD





posted @ Thursday, May 24, 2007
!&Tuesday, May 22, 2007
BECKHAM <3
Here I am sitting in front of a computer updating this blog of mine. I am no longer in New Jersey. Actually, last night Grandma and I flew to the other side of this huge thing that is the United States of America. I will not talk about my flight because who really wants to hear about that right? Haha.


So, here I am, hands shivering as I write this entry. Wearing the same clothes as I wore when I flew in last night. Can not take a shower as my aunt's place is a real mess at the moment. Clothes were hanging in the shower so I am unable to take a nice longer warm shower to make myself feel better. But, no worries right?


There is one thing I must mention about the flight though. They showed this great movie, "Freedom Writers" I believe. It is about a teacher who gives this class a new outlook on life and helps them move past the issues of rich vs poor, racism and discrimination. The movie has helped reinforce an idea that has been with me ever since I started school at HEdCen. Sometime after I graduate, I would like to be a teacher.


This is really a big choice for me because I have always wanted to be rich. Not for selfish reasons, I do not want a big house or expensive car, I do not want the hot outfits or the fancy food. Money comes with power, power acts with influence. I want to make a dent in this world. To make something happen, something good. And after I die they do not even have to remember my name but what I did, will stand. What I did would have made a difference even if those who benefit from it do not know who made that change, made that difference happen.


I have always been happiest helping people even when I may not get anything significant in return. I may not get paid for what I do, not in monetary ways but knowing that I did something good, that is all the return I'll really need. People reading this may believe that I am naive. That I really believe all this crap about one person making the difference. About doing good always gets its worthy returns in the end. That what I say is impossible. Saying that something is impossible is failure at the very first step. Anything is possible. That's the way it has always been. It just takes a little bit of belief and a whole lot of work.

I would like to teach. There are several teachers over the past years, my high school teachers that have inspired me to become the person I am. They have been the greatest role models a guy like me can ask for. Everyone needs a hero. I've found mine in them.

After I graduate college I intend to get work experience, somewhere, somehow and then take over my grandfather's company, construction business. But somewhere in the great plan I have for my life I will fit in teaching. Maybe only part time, perhaps full time but as long as I can make my mark.

People say that changing the world is too big a task for an man to attempt. Then do not attempt at the whole world. Attempt at your world. You do not interact with the world as a whole you are born, live and eventually die in a small corner of the globe. I will start working in my little corner and if you'll join me in your little corner then if someone else joins us and then another and another, that's a lot of little corners. Then, a corner is not just a corner, its a whole chunk, its a whole town, a whole city, a state, a country, a continent, a lot of little corners equals the whole world. This is the power of you, this is the power of us, our power to make a difference in our own little way. This is what we must strive, hope and live by.

Be the difference.





posted @ Tuesday, May 22, 2007
!&Friday, May 18, 2007
BECKHAM <3
Okay I know I havent been posting often. Actually I havent posted ever since I arrived here. My mistake. Haha. Well, what has been going on here...Hmm...


Day after I arrived went shopping with grandma. Got a bunch of new shirts and shorts. Actually, shopping has been a constant for the past few days. Got some new soccer gear. New football cleats for Zach and myself. I really hope Zach loves the cleats I got for him. Got some new jerseys as well. So excited to play football when I get back. Found out from Zach that we've got one last festival before I hit the big college ban. Sadly, even though I am a year younger then most I am not allowed to play in Highschool games once I enter college. Sadly though. Haha, I dont know or actually Im not 100% sure what Im going to do with my football when I get back.


Well, I can enter the college team although it make take a few years before I can make first team. Other thing is I can try out for keeper, it make take a few months but I may be able to make first squad doing that. Another thing is I can train with UP but I can not play for them then try to make my way into the Ateneo squad. Lastly I can join a club but they do not appear as competative as the inter-school football leauges. Sigh, if only I started earlier. I started 2nd year HS and it took until halfway through 3rd to realize I wanted to take this seriously. Dang it ROFL.


Anyways, I will reach those cross roads when I have to.


We are about to leave to visit some Riskin relatives that I did not know I had. One of them, my cousin's cousin's wanted to bring me to a college party but I cant go or else I would have to stay overnight. To do that I would have to skip the Broadway show on saturday. Okay, I admit, maybe I want to go to the party. I have never been to a full out party and now I get a chance at a college one here in the US. Haha, but how would that look to the family back home. Gave up a broadway show to go partying. Bad image for mr.-former-student-council-president.


Starting today I am going to try to update more often. I have alot of time in the mornings cause I still wake up early, around 6 while everyone here wakes up at around 9 and then it takes till 10 for them to become fully 'active.'


Anyways, missing the Philippines and my family and friends but I am having fun here. XD



posted @ Friday, May 18, 2007
!&Monday, May 14, 2007
BECKHAM <3
Okay, I am here safe and sound. Feeling a bit down buts that's a long story. Ill get into it a bit later perhaps. Its around 6 in the morning here but Ive been up since around 3am. Woke up and could not go back to sleep. Great thing though, they have a few 24hrs football channels. Amazing!!! Haha XD The sun came out earlier so I decided I might as well do something and update this thing.


Not really up for talking about the trip. Horrible just like I imagined. Hate flying, especially the feeling of the plane dropping a few feet and that instance of free fall even for just a moment. Makes me so unsettled. This is also why I do not think I will even be able to take roller coasters. Yeah I know, I'm a wuss sometimes.


I enjoy typing here on this PC in the den that I'm staying in. It makes this smooth noise and makes it sound like I'm typing alot faster then I really am. Big shocker to me, its spelled 'a lot' not 'alot.' Swt, haha. Ive already got 'alot' integrated into my typing and its automatic already. Tsk tsk, americano pa ako noh? Haha. You would think with english being my only real language that I would have mastered it. Think again, being american has only allowed me to take speaking english for granted so my vocab and spelling is wack sometimes. Wack as in messed up, not as in Wacky Torres.


Not sure what I want to do today, Grandma wants to take me to the mall and go shopping. I'm up for it, excited to see the kind of football merchandise they got there. Yup, I'm a jock, so sue me.


Okay, I run out of smart witty things to talk about. Time for the serious. So, seriously, this trip has come at a very bad time for me. Few days ago was the first year anniversary of my mom's passing away. Did not make it easier that while I was on the flight, after 11hours of horror I heard the flight attendant wish the cabin 'a happy mother's day.' It was mother's day and it was a year since I'd had one. Strange thought to say the least. To say more it was upsetting. Almost a day of traveling by yourself with all that time to think does not help the situation really. I am feeling a bit better now but do miss my 'support group.' My support group are all my friends, family and the likes who just by being there and being themselves can cheer me up and for a moment or two help me forget the bad things.


I have dealt already with the death of both my parents. It was God's will and having faith makes me realize that you do not always need an answer. But trusting God and believing that everything happens for a reason does not mean I can not have my own personal moments of sadness. And why not? It was a sad thing that happened and I feel that I have the right to. I answered a friend with this, 'I'm going to get through today and then tomorrow and the days after that till the very end cause my parents would not want me to not live my life cause I still mourn the loss of theirs.' Inspiring words to myself haha. XD I could be my own shrink.


Teacher Ana gave birth recently. Sadly though I was not able to visit but will make it a priority once I get back to visit her. I was waiting for the longest time for Teacher Ana to have this baby and I am so happy for her as I know that they have been looking forward to this for so so long. I was hoping that she would have had it sooner so I could have stopped by but babies decide on their own when to come out and nothing I say or want will change that? Haha XD


I'm hungry, gonna grab something out of the fully loaded ref. Be right back.


Okay, back but now with a handful of seedless grapes. :)


It's now 6:13 in the morning here meaning its exactly the same over in the Philippines only 6:13 in the evening. Funny though that no one is online in YM. Would love a chat really. Did people suddenly decided to go to sleep early, as in super early? I usually do wake up around this time but grandma and grandpa mike are still fast asleep. Wonder to what time I will be alone.


Doesn't matter. I enjoy being alone, for the meantime at least.


Not sure what to do now, guess I'll see what's on TV. Hoping I have a great day today to cheer myself up. I will try to post later after the day is through and through. See yah. XD




posted @ Monday, May 14, 2007
!&Saturday, May 12, 2007
BECKHAM <3
I dislike flying. I would say 'hate' but I have always thought of hate as such a strong word to use. Say dislike instead of hate I always say. Now, why am I talking about flying? Tomorrow morning I am leaving for my US trip. One week in New york then one more in Seattle. Have to leave the house at 3. Flight is at 6. Then get this, not in the afternoon, in the morning. Yup, leaving at 3 in the morning. Now why did I HAVE to get the first flight huh? Haha, no worries though. Hopefully I will be able to sleep better and that should whisk away a couple more hours off the trip.


I don't like flying cause of a few reasons. First is safety. Yes I know the statistics that say that flying is by far the safest mode of transportation. Still doesn't make me feel any less uneasy about the whole thing. Next reason is the food. I can not stomach airplane food. For me, its horrible. Can not stand it. I have to survive the 15+hour trip with a couple packs of chips from my backpack. Third, I am a big guy and the seats aren't exactly extravagant. Not a whole lot of leg room so I end up prone to cramps. Sucks to me huh? Haha, being tall isn't all its crack out to be. Last reason, it's boring. You are in this small seat with nothing to do except watch movies on a super small screen. Plus, the movies are usually the ones you have seen 125 times before. No sense watching it for the 126th time right? Haha.


Have to share this song.

Chris Daughtry - It's Not Over

I was blown away.
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
We'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.


Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.It's not over.


Taken all I could take,
And I cannot wait.
We're wasting too much time
Being strong, holding on.
Can't let it bring us down.
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.
I'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
'Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.


Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,But you're the only one.
It's not over.


We can't let this get away.
Let it out, let it out.
Don't get caught up in yourself.
Let it out.


Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.


Let's start over.
It's not over, yeah...
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.


Now, why do I like this song. It tells a great story, to fully understand, take a look at this guys music video. Just thought I should share this.


I am about to get off the laptop cause I want to spend sometime with my brother before I get back to packing. He is out in the back with the dogs. Two of the most important things in my life in one backyard. My beloved brother and my lovable doggies.


I gotta go. Wish me a safe trip will yah? Thanks, appreciate that. XD


posted @ Saturday, May 12, 2007
!&Friday, May 04, 2007
BECKHAM <3
I am the planner in our little group of friends. It is a job that I do not always relish but somebody has got to do it right? That someone, more often then not, is me. Thing is, when I organize an event, I always end up feeling personally responsible for every individual's happiness. I always gotta make sure that everyone is enjoying themselves. Actually, no matter where I am, at something I organized or not, I always feel personally responsible for everyones happiness. When other people are happy, so am I. Thats just how I tick I guess.


My trip to the US has been all planned out. New York for a week then Seattle another. This is going to be great. I love visiting the US. Even though I am half Filipino, although I have lived longer here in the Philippines then in the US, at my core, I still am American. Do not get me wrong, I am proud to be in part Filipino but I remain American at heart. My father was born and grew up in the US. He was actually an American Jew. And contrary to what alot of people thing, being Jewish is actually two different things. You can be Jewish, as in believing in the Jerwish religion or you can be Jewish, as in a nationality. Its the same as saying im American, Pinoy, German, or Danish. My father was Jewish by blood but full Christian inside. So, my father, no matter his bloodline, he grew up and was an American. He wanted his children to be the same way. So now, in some way, we still are American deep down inside.


Today we concluded the first module of the Ateneo Football *something*. Haha, I forgot what the C is. Kinda left my AFC friends and teammates hanging as I decided to play for HedCen instead. Was hoping to get a full squad and have a great time with the guys as this may have been my last festival playing for HedCen. Really wanted to make the most of it. After all the planning and arrangements, on game day, our squad, born 90-91 was short. We had to pull some extra players out of the 92-93 squad just to make the 7 that we needed. No subs. Even without alot of important players, like Justine and a few others we finished first unbeaten, even in the group stage. We did not concede a goal and we finish with 13goals out of 6 games. Not bad huh.


Now here is the thing, those people who did not come, they committed to come and we were expecting. I was frantically calling them before the games started. I got no answer. Latter on Justine texted me that he had to visit a tita in the hospital with cancer. We all understood, most of all myself as I lost two parents to cancer. On the other hand, I got no explanation from the other. I called this person parents and told me that he slept at a relatives place so this person would be closer to Ateneo for the game. This person told his parents he was playing. We expected him to play. No explanation. After messaging him and saying that we won, he replied but still no explanation. All I got was 'sorry, it was an ugly act.'


Ugly act? Now that is a funny way of putting it. This person merely made a choice, to do his duty that he set himself upon or to simply forget it all. To forget his teammates, his school and his friends. My 'friend' chose the latter of the choices. Friends trust each other, to tell the truth and to be honest. This 'friend' wasn't. He told us he had an illness. His definition of 'illness' apparently meant I just really didn't feel like it. Friends have faith in the other person to do the right thing. This 'friend' didn't.


I am not angry believe it or not. It would be easy to scream at this person. Blame him for all the mistakes he has done. Get mad at him and beat him to a pulp. But the strange thing is, I'm not angry. I am not mad. The thing that I am is, disappointed. When you get close to a person, when you are really friends. You expect things. You expect the person to make the right choice, to say the right things, to be the best person that friend could be. This person, I would like to think he was close. This guy, for the most part has been another brother to me, for the longest time. Maybe not from his point of view and if that is the case then I am very sad but I have always seen him as a brother and treated him as such. You expect alot from your brother. You know what a great person he is inside of himself and you know how much this person could actually accomplish if he tried. I have always believed in this person, this person had such much potential and this brother was a great guy. Is it wrong for me to expect so much? Maybe he could not reach the high bar that I set for him? Maybe I set myself up for disappointment from the get-go.


But then, I ask you all, is choosing between your responsibility, your pledge to do something for your friends and ignoring it all such a hard choice? For a friend it shouldn't be. There is supposed to be only one real answer to this question
. I'm sure you can figure it out for yourselves.


posted @ Friday, May 04, 2007