What can I say about myself. Not like anyone is really gonna read this. Well, I would like to think of myself as a good guy although I
can lose my temper quite easily, so watch out a bit. Nothing personal hehe. I love soccer, that's all I can think about right now. I LOVE
SOCCER! What more can I say? Haha!
I am the planner in our little group of friends. It is a job that I do not always relish but somebody has got to do it right? That someone, more often then not, is me. Thing is, when I organize an event, I always end up feeling personally responsible for every individual's happiness. I always gotta make sure that everyone is enjoying themselves. Actually, no matter where I am, at something I organized or not, I always feel personally responsible for everyones happiness. When other people are happy, so am I. Thats just how I tick I guess.
My trip to the US has been all planned out. New York for a week then Seattle another. This is going to be great. I love visiting the US. Even though I am half Filipino, although I have lived longer here in the Philippines then in the US, at my core, I still am American. Do not get me wrong, I am proud to be in part Filipino but I remain American at heart. My father was born and grew up in the US. He was actually an American Jew. And contrary to what alot of people thing, being Jewish is actually two different things. You can be Jewish, as in believing in the Jerwish religion or you can be Jewish, as in a nationality. Its the same as saying im American, Pinoy, German, or Danish. My father was Jewish by blood but full Christian inside. So, my father, no matter his bloodline, he grew up and was an American. He wanted his children to be the same way. So now, in some way, we still are American deep down inside.
Today we concluded the first module of the Ateneo Football *something*. Haha, I forgot what the C is. Kinda left my AFC friends and teammates hanging as I decided to play for HedCen instead. Was hoping to get a full squad and have a great time with the guys as this may have been my last festival playing for HedCen. Really wanted to make the most of it. After all the planning and arrangements, on game day, our squad, born 90-91 was short. We had to pull some extra players out of the 92-93 squad just to make the 7 that we needed. No subs. Even without alot of important players, like Justine and a few others we finished first unbeaten, even in the group stage. We did not concede a goal and we finish with 13goals out of 6 games. Not bad huh.
Now here is the thing, those people who did not come, they committed to come and we were expecting. I was frantically calling them before the games started. I got no answer. Latter on Justine texted me that he had to visit a tita in the hospital with cancer. We all understood, most of all myself as I lost two parents to cancer. On the other hand, I got no explanation from the other. I called this person parents and told me that he slept at a relatives place so this person would be closer to Ateneo for the game. This person told his parents he was playing. We expected him to play. No explanation. After messaging him and saying that we won, he replied but still no explanation. All I got was 'sorry, it was an ugly act.'
Ugly act? Now that is a funny way of putting it. This person merely made a choice, to do his duty that he set himself upon or to simply forget it all. To forget his teammates, his school and his friends. My 'friend' chose the latter of the choices. Friends trust each other, to tell the truth and to be honest. This 'friend' wasn't. He told us he had an illness. His definition of 'illness' apparently meant I just really didn't feel like it. Friends have faith in the other person to do the right thing. This 'friend' didn't.
I am not angry believe it or not. It would be easy to scream at this person. Blame him for all the mistakes he has done. Get mad at him and beat him to a pulp. But the strange thing is, I'm not angry. I am not mad. The thing that I am is, disappointed. When you get close to a person, when you are really friends. You expect things. You expect the person to make the right choice, to say the right things, to be the best person that friend could be. This person, I would like to think he was close. This guy, for the most part has been another brother to me, for the longest time. Maybe not from his point of view and if that is the case then I am very sad but I have always seen him as a brother and treated him as such. You expect alot from your brother. You know what a great person he is inside of himself and you know how much this person could actually accomplish if he tried. I have always believed in this person, this person had such much potential and this brother was a great guy. Is it wrong for me to expect so much? Maybe he could not reach the high bar that I set for him? Maybe I set myself up for disappointment from the get-go.
But then, I ask you all, is choosing between your responsibility, your pledge to do something for your friends and ignoring it all such a hard choice? For a friend it shouldn't be. There is supposed to be only one real answer to this question. I'm sure you can figure it out for yourselves.
